Intermission Announcement

(Scene: the interior of a Broadway theatre. Time: day.

An audience waits ever so patiently in their seats. They have been sitting there for over two months. Nothing has happened in that span of time, and they are restless. The food supply in the concession stand had been exhausted long ago. Playbills® are chewed unceremoniously. The ushers that have not escaped have been eaten.

Suddenly, there is a ruffling from the velvet curtains. AMANDA appears before the ravenous crowd. Timidly, she speaks...)

AMANDA: Um, hello? Hello, everyone? Everyone, good evening. Thank you for your patience.

AN AUDIENCE MEMBER: IT'S BEEN TWO FREAKIN' MONTHS!

AMANDA: Yes, well, I realize that...

ANOTHER AUDIENCE MEMBER: I HAVEN'T SEEN MY FAMILY SINCE JULY!

AMANDA: Hey, that's not my fau-

ANOTHER ANOTHER AUDIENCE MEMBER: ALL YOU GIVE US IS THREE ENTRIES AND THEN YOU DISSAPPEAR ON US. WE DEMAND AN EXPLANATION!

SOME AUDIENCE MEMBER: AND MORE USHERS!

ALSO AN AUDIENCE MEMBER: YES! BIGGER ONES!

AUDIENCE: (chanting) MORE! USHERS! MORE! USHERS! MORE! USHERS!

AMANDA: Okay, you guys? I didn't force you to stay here. You didn't have to eat my ushers.

AUDIENCE: ...Oh.

AMANDA: But now that I have your attention, I do want to announce that this site, "Musical Decomposition", will now be updated every month. Watch out for an update within the next two weeks. Expect parodies on some well-known shows by Frank Wildhorn, Lerner & Loewe, Sondheim...

AUDIENCE: NO, NOT SONDHEIM!

AMANDA: Yes. Even Sondheim.

AUDIENCE: (gasp)

AMANDA: So, make sure to visit regularly. If you have a favorite musical you'd like to see decomposed, mention it in the comments. So, that's all I have to say at the moment. Thank you very much.

AN AUDIENCE MEMBER: BUT, WHEN ARE WE GOING TO GET MORE USHERS???

AMANDA: When you promise to stop eating them.

AN AUDIENCE MEMBER: (grumble)